The Instant Opinion: It’s a new world folks!

So in the world of Twitter, Facebook, blogging, smartphones and instant everything, I found myself confronted with a paradox. A status update on Facebook read, “While John and Bobby sucked on their soothers, a lady at soccer told me that “we prefer to rock and snuggle our children, WE are their soothers…”**


In a fit of outrage on behalf of my friend I replied, “Nothing like some good old-fashioned judgement to get the blood boiling. LAME! “I prefer to teach my children to learn to censor their opinions and not judge others, …..”

Quickly, another person complimented me on my retort. I acknowledged her response with, “Yeah Sarah, I mean we all have our opinions, but do we need to share them all the time? I know so many moms who were heartbroken they couldn’t breastfeed and then, to add insult to injury, were told on a regular basis by strangers and even friends that they were doing wrong by not breastfeeding! What happened to supporting each other rather than one-uping each other? Grrr..”

This second post received three “likes” within minutes.

That’s when it hit me…ummm, aren’t I being just as judgemental and quick to give my opinion as the lady I was admonishing? I mean, come on Melissa, so the lady made a comment that seems judgemental and harsh….would it be so hard to reply, “Oh good for you” or “Hmm, that’s a thought.” Didn’t I just tell a friend who felt she was being bullied by in-laws to raise her child a certain way to reply as sincerely as possible that they had some good ideas and then do what she wanted anyways? What is the point in arguing with most people?

There are some things that need to be argued and debated. A good, healthy debate between friends or colleagues helps us see the other side and as Stephen Covey would say, can bring out the third way. I know that some of my most steadfast beliefs have been called into question during intense conversations with friends and that helped me develop a deeper truth. But really, just because we have an opinion, do we really need to share it with strangers, either during a soccer match, via Facebook or Twitter? In adding my two cents (a rather rude two cents I might add) to her status, I showed my self-righteous side.

Not my best side really.

I do wish we would support each other more and dig at each other less.

So I guess that will start with me. I’ll think about keeping my instant opinion to myself a little more frequently.




**Names changed to protect anonymity


2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Amma
    Jun 29, 2011 @ 22:14:13

    I too have recognized the judgement in me at times. Guess the human being is hard to quash. But I think self awareness is the most important insight we can have. Have I told you lately how much I enjoy your writing?

    Love you precious and insightful daughter :-))


  2. CarleneO
    Jul 07, 2011 @ 21:19:42

    Melissa, I really enjoyed your blog post. It is so easy to get into defending our own position especially on sensitive topics such as parenting. Supporting each other and realizing that there really is indeed more than one way to go about things brings the focus back onto creating community and connection.


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